Wild Horses
by Alexandria Duncan
Summary: Spot and Racetrack are classmates, college roommates, and best friends. However, when Spot has to return home to help out, can Racetrack face Spot leaving, possibly not to return, when Spot doesn’t know the truth of his feelings?


Next one shot. I got some really good reviews on my other one shot "Just Another Day" and I want to say THANK YOU for your positive feedback. I will try to take your advice and make this a longer story. I've decided this time to try an Angsty/Fluffy Slash. We'll see how it goes.  
  
Based in modern day. Spot Conlon and Racetrack Higgins are classmates, roommates, and best friends. However, when Spot's father has a stroke and asks that Spot return home to help out, can Racetrack face Spot leaving, possibly not to return, when Spot doesn't know the truth of his feelings?  
  
Spot!Muse: Here we go again.  
  
Racetrack!Muse: What? Ya didn like tha otha one?  
  
Alexandria: Quiet you two... I'm trying to write.  
  
All Muses: *burst into laughter*  
  
Alexandria: Just shut up.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
"Racetrack, have you seen my leather jacket?"  
  
I sit up on my bunk and turn towards Spot, my roommate. My soon-to-be-gone- forever roommate. Spot and I are juniors at California State University. We've known each other since freshman year when we got placed together in the dorms. I fell in love with him the first moment he entered our room, carrying two large boxes, with more waiting for him outside. I helped him move in, and within a few hours I found out that not only was he beautiful, he was smart, courteous, and ... and loyal to his family. Which brings us up to now.  
  
"Race?" Spot is standing before me now. I really need to pay more attention instead of spacing. "Did you hear me? I can't find my leather jacket. Do you know where it is?"  
  
Of course I know where it is. For two and a half years I have kept tabs on him and everything that belongs to him. I don't mind. I'd do anything for him. At least, until now I thought I would.  
  
"Yeah Spot, your jacket's already in your car. You left it there after... well, you know when."  
  
Three days ago Spot received a phone call. His father had suffered a heart attack and needed him to come home. His attack was near-fatal and his twelve year old sister needed someone around to take care of her while her father recuperated. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't bother me, but these are not normal circumstances. It seems that his father will be bedridden for quite a long time, and because of this, Spot has decided to transfer to a school close to home. Close to New York, which is three thousand miles away.  
  
"Yeah, well, thanks."  
  
Spot turns back to the closet we share - or used to share - and I turn back to the ceiling. The only time I've ever been to New York is last Christmas when Spot brought me with him during break because I was facing two weeks alone on campus.  
  
After a couple of seconds of silence, I swing my feet off the bed and jump down. With a sigh, I walk over to the closet and very slowly help him pack.  
  
"Spot, are you sure you want to transfer? You could study out of state."  
  
For a moment Spot pauses as if he's considering what I say, but I know he's not. I've brought up this suggestion many times over the last couple of days and always receive the same answer.  
  
"Race, you know I can't do that. Tuition is way too much out-of-state, and I'm going to have to devote my time to taking care of dad. I won't have time to study."  
  
When he says this, he turns towards the window, causing the light to fall perfectly across his beautiful face. I want so much to reach up and caress his face, but I know if I do I will probably freak him out so badly that he'll never want to talk to me again.  
  
Not that it will matter once you're gone, I thought bitterly.  
  
"Right, of course."  
  
I turn away from him – it hurts too much to look at him for too long now. I wish I understood why he is willing to leave everything he's worked for and return to his family. I don't have a family, at least not one that I remember. My mom died when I was three, and my dad could be one of the many men that trafficked my house as a child. I've never really cared about anyone enough to put myself out there for them.  
  
Except for you. I'd do anything to keep you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I can feel Race's eyes on me as I stare out the window. I know that he doesn't understand why I have to do this, and I know he's upset about it, but I can't figure out why. I try to imagine that it's because he likes me, but of course I'm probably just imagining that part. Racetrack is my good friend, my best friend, but he's never made a pass on me before. Everyone knows that Race is gay, no one really cares about that, but an athlete? If anyone ever knew that I dreamt about Race and me . . .  
  
Stop thinking about it Spot. It can't work. You're leaving and Race, well, he's staying here. Alone.  
  
Damnit. I think too much.  
  
"You know what? I'm hungry. Let's go down to the food court."  
  
Good, change the subject. Don't let yourself think about his hands... or his lips... or...  
  
Damnit!  
  
"Yeah, food sounds good, I guess."  
  
Racetrack precedes me out of the room and walks a step ahead of me while we go down the stairs. I can tell he's trying to be cool, trying not to let me know he's upset. About what, I know he won't tell me, but I do know he's upset. As he tries to hide that he's upset, I try to hide that I'm staring at his ass. I glance down at the ground often enough that people who see me just think I'm upset about my dad. Which I am, but that doesn't hide the fact that Race has a very, very, nice ass.  
  
"Um, Race?"  
  
What am I doing?  
  
"Yeah, Spot?"  
  
I stare at the ground for real now that we've stopped at the bottom of the stairwell. Suddenly, I'm not very hungry anymore and I just want to go back to our room. I don't want to leave, but I know I've got to go take care of my dad and sister. I just wish there was a way...  
  
"I'm not really hungry after all. I think I'm going back. I hope you don't mind."  
  
He gives me an odd look, but I know he'll say it's ok. He's pretty much agreed with everything I've said and done since freshman year. With the exception of not liking the girl's I've dated, it's almost as if he thinks I'm perfect. I turn before he answers and begin my three story trip back to our room. I'd rather spend my last hour or so that I'm here with him instead of in the midst of a bunch of loud, annoying people.  
  
"Sure Spot, whatever you say." I hear him answer from behind me. I'm already halfway up the first flight before he begins to follow me.  
  
________________________________  
  
We sit in our room not speaking, just listening to the radio play. Race is sitting next to me on the two-seater sofa we lugged up here last year during finals. Our legs are so close to each other now that I have my hand on mine, physically stopping myself from touching him, lest I lose all composure the moment I do. We've been sitting like this for awhile now, about an hour and a half, each thinking our separate thoughts. Every ten minutes or so I see his mouth widen out of the corner of my eye. I tense, hoping he is about to speak, about to tell that he doesn't want me to go, that he's rather die that have me leave him.  
  
Do it. Tell him.  
  
My alarm goes off, breaking our peaceful harmony. I curse. Of course, my alarm clock would be the item I forgot to pack. Normally at this time I'm taking a quick nap before class and my clock would wake me up, but today it only reminds me of what I have to do. I stand and walk quickly to my clock, shutting it off for one last time before I leave here. I can feel Race stand behind me as I reach over and unplug the alarm clock. As I wind the cord around the base, I turn and look at him fully. Our eyes meet for a moment, and then he looks away. I'm almost positive I saw tears, but I'm not about to let myself hope that I'm right. I place the clock in the last open box left in the room, and this time when I look back up, he doesn't look away. I was right, there are tears in his eyes.  
  
Does this mean what I hope? Can he really care about me?  
  
"Spot..."  
  
He croaks the word out, the rest of his sentence is blocked by the tears he is trying so hard to hold back. In two large steps I am right in front of him, my finger on his lips.  
  
"Race, don't talk. There's something I have to tell you."  
  
I drop my hand, take a breath, and continue.  
  
"Look, I know we've been friends for a long time now, and I think we both know that there's more to our relationship that friendship."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh my God. I heard you correctly, didn't I? You just said relationship!  
  
My heart does somersaults as my best friend, my crush, stands before me. He tells me not to speak, but I honestly don't think I could if I tried. The person I've been in love with for the past two and a half years just used the word relationship while talking about me and him!  
  
"Race, what I'm trying to say is... I can't leave without saying..."  
  
I take an anxious breath, he continues.  
  
"I love you."  
  
My heart explodes in fireworks and a million other symbols of joy. I break into a huge smile and wrap my arms around him. Before I realize what I'm doing, I place my hand on the back of his neck and in the next moment I find we are kissing.  
  
I'm kissing you! We're kissing and I'm not asleep! This is love!  
  
I let go of Spot and realize that he is also holding onto me. I grin grows ever wider.  
  
"I love you too, Spot."  
  
I don't think I've ever been happier in my whole life. Spot is grinning just as widely as I am, until he glances behind me and I see his face fall.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Oh no, it's five o'clock. I have to go now. I have to leave.  
  
I let go of Racetrack and I can see his confusion as my expression drops from a smile to a worried frown. Tears well in my eyes and I return my gaze to his face instead of the clock's.  
  
"It's five, Racetrack. My plane leaves in an hour."  
  
My hands are in his now, and his grip tightens. He shakes his head, no, but I don't agree with him. I can't.  
  
"I have to leave Race. My father -"  
  
"Your father will be fine."  
  
"My sister needs me, too."  
  
I can see his emotions fighting each other as he decides whether to fight for me, or do the 'mature' think and let me go. After about a minute, he lets go of my hand and turns towards my waiting boxes. He's going to let me go. The tears in my eyes begin to flow as my mind races and I try to decide what to do. Finally, I know. I grab him and turn him to me, the smile returned to my face.  
  
"Go with me."  
  
"What?"  
  
For a moment, his face is blank. He is trying to comprehend. I can see in his eyes the second he truly understands what I mean.  
  
"Come with me to New York. Live with me."  
  
"But what about -"  
  
"Forget it. Whatever it is, it's not important. Just say yes."  
  
He smiles and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  
  
"Wild horses couldn't keep me away." 


End file.
